last weekend i was walking home from yoga. my pink mat over my back. my hair in pigtails. gym gear on. wife beater on. bottled water. i was walking alone and it wasn't dark out yet. twilight. right at the point where one sits outside reading by the sun and the next moment it is dark. as i walked by the store, a herd of inline skaters nearly mowed me down. i know i know. too many jokes come to mind about inline skaters, but i won't go there. i was on my cellphone and a dude on a track bike nearly hit me. bikes ride on street, not on the sidewalk dude! grrr. anyhow, i said excuse me to get around him and he moved and smiled politely. i kept walking and then hung up my phone. i was walking for ten minutes or so when out of nowhere, the biker guy rides up. creepy. he tells me that the inline skaters do that run every few months in case i wanted to know. uh, i didn't, but thanks? i say oh and keep walking. he walks his bike and walks with me. i keep my pink yoga mat in between us as a buffer. he tells me that he didn't know i was on the phone when i said excuse me to him. he tells me he spent the time after i walked by thinking of something clever about inline skating and yoga. some line worthy of me. he says this all with a straight face mind you. he says he was thinking of clever things, but got distracted by my attractiveness. i guess he didn't have enough time to make it clever. i keep walking. he talks about track bikes and yoga. he asks where i take yoga. he says a studio and i just nodded in agreement. i don't go there. then he says it. the line:
"i may have the face of a 57 year old, but i have the body of a 27 year old." i look up at him and notice he has two teeth. "and the teeth of a 2 year old" i am thinking. wow.
summer is here. now the crazies come out. and so does the pepper spray.