Thursday, June 16, 2011

misseable and forgettable

i lead a crazy life. ok, not so crazy, but i am busy with just life itself. i am human. i forget to stay in touch with friends. i am bad that way. i tend to keep in touch with friends further away than the ones who live right here in philly. i do text friends to see what is going on. sometimes i get response. sometimes i dont. sometimes i wonder if my texts go to cyberspace black hole of some sort.

my question is this, dear bloggers, how can people claim to miss you, yet forget to get in touch with you. can one be missed and forgotten at the same time? i think so.

again, we are all guilty of this. but i think we all have to admit, it is nice to be missed by good friends. it is even better when we don't forget why we are good friends.


Thursday, February 10, 2011

do cheaters ever change?

why are all your comics so sad? me: they' aren't. they have a lot of breakups and heartbreaks. me: but, it isn't sad. just shows it wasn't meant to be.

i used to have issues and i am not referring to comics. :) as far as i can remember, a vast majority of my past boyfriends have all cheated on me. sometimes i knew, but most of the time, i didn't.

the worse feeling i remember was thinking ok, he cheated on me. then seeing who they cheated with and realizing it wasn't just one, but a queue. for awhile, i thought all guys cheat and if they didn't, they thought about it. for awhile, i thought something was wrong with me. i needed to change. i should do this or less of that, etc. having a guy make me feel insecure when i was already so uncertain of myself made me so timid and frustrated. i remember crying in my room and listing things wrong with myself. i remember thinking how each of these ex boyfriends found some way to put it on me as if it was my fault they cheated. the funny thing is, not one of these exs admitted to cheating on me. it was always through a friend or me walking in on them cheating or the next flavor of the month telling me. i think i would have at least respected them a bit if they just fessed up. but none did.

at the time, my heart felt as if it would never heal. it did and i am happy with love and have a valentine, but for everyone out there who doesn't, realize that not all boys are evil or clueless. i don't want anyone to feel sad on valentines day because it is a lame holiday. don't mope and think of your breakups, heartbreaks, etc. instead, know that it really is their loss. i never believed it when friends told me that, but it is true. and know that those ex boyfriends will realize it and are kicking themselves to know they messed up.

and with that, i wanna say no one cares about valentines day, but we all do care about love. i will and still remain in love with love. cheesy as it is. but, i am no proponent of pink and red. ew. who thought of that colour combo?

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

breaking up friendships

i tweeted a bit ago how i think it is wierd how we "break up" with friends. you can fall out of friendship with someone. i understand we all can through transitions and major event changes, but we all remain friends, and close friends with some people. i can count on one hand my steady crew. i have gone through events and changes and these 5 people all remain in my life and they are integral.

when you have snow days, you begin to think about stuff.

there are people i have known for ages who know me no better than my co workers and there are some people who i haven't know as long, speaking time wise, who get me. quality over quantity. simple math, i get it, i know.

i know that sometimes i am the one who breaks the friendship and other times it just is a mutual fade out or it is the other party who breaks it.

for example, i believe any of my friends who move from philly to nyc will no doubt be engulfed in the i need to be the coolest person in nyc so i need to diss philly attitude and we will lose touch. it is strange since nyc is only 2 hours away from philly, but might as well be guam.

i also think just because you have known someone for a long time, doesn't mean you are good friends. it also doesn't establish a friendship.

the best thing is not having or avoiding the break up and just having the friendship mutually fade out. sometimes distance, lack of common ground or you just realize hey this person is an idiot, all point to break up.

i think i am a good friend, but as of late, i have been breaking up with friends it seems. perhaps i am not as good a friend as i think i am.
if i ask my friends, they will tell you i rock. if you ask my ex friends, they may say that or say pearl who? or grunt disapproval. i feel like i haven't changed as a person. lots of things have happened to me, but i am still me. i don't go out looking for new friends, i'll just stick with the good ones i have.