the birdie left behind

i have a little flower garden outside of my city stoop. besides my flower boxes, i have this garden. before the heat wave, i had pretty flowers in this yellow fenced garden. now, it is dried up flowers. sigh.

living in the city, i am used to seeing dead little baby birds on sidewalks. it always freaks me out to see dead birds. like a sign of doom or something.

this sunday, i heard a little chirping. a baby bird. he was in my garden, but my pa noticed the bird was not flying. my pa said, "he hurt." i go and look at the baby bird closely. it is not a newborn since it does have its feathers, but it is a baby. its bug eyes wide with fright. he couldn't fly. he would hop a bit, but no flying. no parent birds in sight.

we tried to pick up the birdie, but he was so scared and he tried to bite with his little beak. his googly eyes were all wide and dark with fright.

i have this birdhouse in my rose garden. so we ushered the fledgling into the birdhouse. figuring that the birdie could take shelter in the house, safe from squirrels and dogs. doesn't he look all cozy in the birdhouse? wow. just had they might be giants moment. birdhouse in your soul just chimed through my head.

upon further internet research, we had to put the birdie near the place we found him. decided that placing the birdie in the flower boxes over the bushes and flowers was a good idea. in case, the birdie attempted to fly and missed, he would not fall far and on soil.

as the little birdie chirped, his parents, the cardinals were chirping back.

upon checking on the baby birdie, he was gone. he finally flew.

now my birdhouse is empty. sigh.

summer nights

summer in the city is something i love. no, i don't enjoy the humid mugginess, the smell of hot piss in the subway, the fact the homeless people now strip down to the skeeveys, the hordes of teenagers who roam the street, yelling slurs at me or spitting at me. these are all bad negative things about the city, but every once in awhile, i get glimpses, moments of prettiness that remind me why i love summers in the city.

1) getting dinner with my best friends and just talking about everything and nothing and then winding down the night with cold bubble tea

2) the sound of the ice cream truck and the site of mr. softie on the side of the truck as i chase it down to get a wolverine popsicle

3) people flying kites in the park

4) the smell of honeysuckles as i walk to work in the morning

5) the smell of dew on grass as it gets cut after an overnight rainstorm

6) how the nights stay lighter and you lose track of time

7) water ice is ok to eat for dinner

8) seersucker suits on old men

9) picnics are back in style

10) fireflies. fireflies. fireflies.

summer of 2008 has begun. bring on the bubble tea and let's catch some fireflies.

the pick up line for the summer of 2008

last weekend i was walking home from yoga. my pink mat over my back. my hair in pigtails. gym gear on. wife beater on. bottled water. i was walking alone and it wasn't dark out yet. twilight. right at the point where one sits outside reading by the sun and the next moment it is dark. as i walked by the store, a herd of inline skaters nearly mowed me down. i know i know. too many jokes come to mind about inline skaters, but i won't go there. i was on my cellphone and a dude on a track bike nearly hit me. bikes ride on street, not on the sidewalk dude! grrr. anyhow, i said excuse me to get around him and he moved and smiled politely. i kept walking and then hung up my phone. i was walking for ten minutes or so when out of nowhere, the biker guy rides up. creepy. he tells me that the inline skaters do that run every few months in case i wanted to know. uh, i didn't, but thanks? i say oh and keep walking. he walks his bike and walks with me. i keep my pink yoga mat in between us as a buffer. he tells me that he didn't know i was on the phone when i said excuse me to him. he tells me he spent the time after i walked by thinking of something clever about inline skating and yoga. some line worthy of me. he says this all with a straight face mind you. he says he was thinking of clever things, but got distracted by my attractiveness. i guess he didn't have enough time to make it clever. i keep walking. he talks about track bikes and yoga. he asks where i take yoga. he says a studio and i just nodded in agreement. i don't go there. then he says it. the line:

"i may have the face of a 57 year old, but i have the body of a 27 year old." i look up at him and notice he has two teeth. "and the teeth of a 2 year old" i am thinking. wow.

summer is here. now the crazies come out. and so does the pepper spray.

my elk belt buckle...this is my jawn

gonna blog more this weekend, but wanted to let you all check out my elk belt buckle i got at the flea market. it is sooo hideous that it is beautiful. it also has the elk physical attributes on the back of it. elks can grow up to 6 feet and weigh up to 1100 pounds.

anyhow, that is the belt buckle that won my heart. also, that is not a white tee shirt. that is my stomach. yes, i am that pale. deal with it. this belt is sooo george jones, merle haggard, johnny paycheck....swoon

ok, must sleep, will blog more later.

wednesday mixtape

yesterday i walked home and i past a happy hour with colleagues from work. i was en route to the comic book store and i didn't want to stop, but the asian politeness gene made me stop and chat. i got made fun of for wanting to go to the comic book store, hello?! it's wednesday, new issues! anyhow, as i walked past lame bar after lame bar and jocks with white caps on, khakis and people listening to dave matthews, i realized that i didn't want to go to a happy hour, but rather i just wanted gelato. is it possible to just have a gelato hour?

i got the comic i wanted and went and got gelato by myself and i was thinking of songs that i missed. i got home and made the mix, hopefully it plays. the songs make me smile and remind me that sometimes wednesdays aren't bad. even if i wasn't digging happy hour, i made my own gelato hour and in my head, i rule.

lonely zombie: all soft, cuddly and my bff

note: refer to my february blog entry lonely zombie: valentine to all

for those in the know, i made a comic strip called "lonely zombie" and i also (see above) hand made lonely zombie dolls, complete with stitches, stitched heart, empty souless eyes, chubby cheeks and when you lead him by the hand, he walks with a gimp.

anyhow, he sits in my office. quiet. patiently awaiting for his next issue. i mean i have people email me about the anticipation of more lonely zombie and i totally love that, but i come home and see him, THE lonely zombie, sitting and waiting. it is more than a girl can bear!

i was going to make lonely zombie dolls and give them out to my friends for valentines day, but decided that i like having just one zombie doll. he is special like that.

i used to tell people that everyone is a lonely zombie. we all walk around life sometimes aimlessly and just feeding. anyhow, today i got to thinking. sitting here in this heat wave, i sat on my sofa cuddled with lonely zombie and i began to think. i know, what a horrible thing! :)

i began to think about if i ever fed on someone. not in the cannibal sense, but in the sense, did i ever just drain someone mentally? emotionally?

my friends here will tell you that i am too nice. to the point where i will feel bad just so the other person doesn't. it is some weird complex. i'm no super hero, but i would rather be sad than see the ones i care and love be sad. anyhow, i came across some of my past journals and letters at my parents house. my mom doesn't throw anything away. she keeps all my letters and birthday cards people send me. i on the other hand, throw everything away. complete opposite.

i think i don't like keeping the memories. although some are good, most remind me things that fell apart, mistakes, bad choices in people.

when i was living in boston, there were times when i felt really alone. i know everyone feels that way at some point. i was in boston. far from my family. i had good friends. a close knit group. i was best friends with the queen scenster. i knew all the emo mod kids. from the outside, it was great. but, in the inside, i was all doubts. i remember balancing school, work, and having a social life. my love life in boston was up and down. when it was up it was really up, but it was the downs that made me super sad and made me retreat to inking my comics. i guess i felt i never need to keep any cards or letters, i document my life on bristol board.

i am rambling i know. i apologize. there is a wicked thunder storm occurring right now. it is freaking me out. i am sitting in my bed in the dark and thunder is echoing so close. my heart is pounding and i am just waiting for the storm to pass.

i used to be really good friends with a person who i will call jake. anyhow, he was one of those theater freaks who believed in cathulu (he had a stuffed cathulu, and i picked it up and by accident ripped off one of cathulu's tenticles. oops. despite that mishap, jake still thought i was the tops). jake was odd. i mean not odd like old man who collects stuffed antlers and pipes, i mean odd. even the oddballs would stray away from him. he would climb walls, meditate and sneak ninja walk up on people. anyhow, he saw me in some freak common ground connection. jake was one of those nice guys. but, i was the girl who never dated anyone in high school and just didn't, couldn't be tied down in a relationship. i was working on paintings. i was meeting new people and new guys. guys who i thought were "cooler" than jake. i distanted myself from jake. i was cold. our laughfests and long talks evaporated into cold hellos and annoyance. jake hadn't changed, but i did. what happened? why was i being so mean?

fast forward. boston. jake is in maryland. we would email and chat on the phone. he is not one for phone calls. but then again, most guys are not phone talkers. i remember i emailed him and i was all tears, i told him i felt like a mistake. i made mistakes. i was just a mistake. jake wrote me and told me that whoever thought of me would want to take credit and that i was not a mistake. he was so supportive and nice. too bad i just didn't love him. i was not in love with him, but he loved me and one day, years later, he realized that he couldn't be with me and it was never going to be. i was selfish. i fed on him. i liked having a close confidente who knew the right things to say and who thought i could do no wrong. what i failed to realize was that jake wanted that too....from me. i hope jake found that. he deserves it.

so this blog is dedicated to jake and to my lonely zombie. i hope that all the "jakes" out there realize that you all need to find girls who will love you back. in the meantime, just cuddle up with a zombie until the storm passes over.

the hulk

ok ok ok. so people are hyped about the new hulk movie. i am NO FAN of the hulk. honestly, he is one of my LEAST favorite superheroes. ever since i was little, i remember that hulk series with lou ferrigno and he scared me. those creepy contact lenses. shudder. i remember trying to get into the comic book and i couldn't. no one can force feed the hulk to me. i will purge him.

why do i have such hatred for the hulk? i don't. i just don't like him. my two reasons for not liking the hulk have been the same since i was a kid and remain steadfast true today:

1) i do not like any superhero whose super power is the lack of self control; and
2) the hulk wears purple tattered calypso pants.

game point.

now that you all are up to speed about my sentiments about the hulk/dr.banner, the fact that i am intrigued and excited to see the new hulk movie is saying a lot! i did like ang lee's interpretation of the hulk in the first movie. i mean, the hulk is super super big. his strength cannot be recorded since it goes off the chart all depending on his anger. i am glad hollywood is keeping the hulk huge in physical size, which is true to the comic. edward norton is no doubt going to be amazing in the movie.

so all in all, this little blog shout out means i will be seeing the hulk, prolly with my dad and hopefully without any ignorant racists in the theater (refer to earlier blog, rambo and the racist).

i don't think i will be going out buying hulk comics, but i do hope there is a lot of smash smash. :)

Wizard World-Comic Con 2008

check out my photos on flickr.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/23146691@N06/sets/72157605399777780

comic con is a big thing for artists, collectors, gamers, dorks, geeks and people who still think goth is cool. philly's comic con is small peanuts compared to san diego's and ny's, but philly can hold her own. no doubt.

my girls didn't go with me this year. i was a bit disappointed, but my good friend dave came down from ny to geek out with me. most people go to comic for the full 3 days, i prefer to go one day, but totally make the most of it. meaning, getting a good breakfast that morning, usually the down home diner, one needs bacon and eggs, protein! need energy to browse thru bins of comic books looking for that back issue, the issue of thor, the what if professor x became juggernaut, finding first generation transformers, etc. also, the diner is literally a 3 minute walk to the comic con. word.

having consumed a hearty breakfast, camera charged, smiles on, we enter the kingdom called comic con, or as i say, heaven!

the place was crawling with people and kids. this time, however, there was no pikachu and we did not pretend to kick pikachu. so no angry mob of sugar high kids chased us...this time!

the first thing when entering comic con, always do a full walk thru. i always go to each table, stand, vendor, etc. and do a scan/browse. there is so much to take in. once you do that, you make a mental list of where you wanna come back to. this way, you don't miss any deals.

i talked and met michael oeming. my friend dave actually met him in ny. they have mutual friends. ah the bookpress bizness! and they chatted it up and then dave introduced me as a big fan. i am! hello! oeming and bendis=RADNESS. powers is so good. retro girl. anyhow, i spurted out something retarded like, " i like to read." wow. charming pearl. charming.

picked a cute cartoon portrait of pinhead for my dad. happy father's day. it is a cool gift since he is a big horror movie fan and a fan of hellraiser. who the hell isn't?!

i picked up 4 books on the walking dead series....oh here is my pet peeve. i think the people, the crowd that goes to these convention understand that we all are collectors. we all are looking for something. i would like to think we would help each other or at the least be considerate. for example, my boys were helping me look for issues of walking dead. then some dude would say, hey if you iron man #1, can you pull it for me? we all agree and say, if you see walking dead #2, pull it aside. all these alliances. spoken codes. comic commederie. fingers dry from flipping thru comics. throat parched from the unventilated stale air. i was kneeling on the floor. flipping thru issues. then some dude kneels down next to me on my left. he started to browse on the box i was about to look thru. i had only this one box left. i didn't realize that he saw the issues of walking dead in my hands. the volume numbers in clear view and #2 was missing in this equation. he flips thru the bin and the pulls a walking dead #2. i look and i gasp! i was about to say something, but he smirked. he looked at me and smirked and paid for the one issue i needed. wha?! i guess egg on me for not saying something to him when he was next to me. i should have asked him to look for issue 2 for me, but it all was a blur. it happened in one hot minute. word to the boys, if a girl has several issues of one comic and you notice she is missing one issue, DO NOT TAKE that issue!

there was the usual costume contest. wheeljack should have won. ooh, some dude was chamber. yup, that is not an orange beard he sports, his lower jaw was exploded off. xmen. gotta love them. read my yelp review on comic con. i was dying of laughter when black manta booed dave. hey, dave thought it was wonder woman. he is a comic guru, but i think his blood sugar was falling. mine was. we needed to eat lunch. anyhow, it was donna troy. wonder woman's sister. she told him and black manta stated, "you are at a comic con and you don't know comics!" whoa. harsh words from a villain who killed aqua man's baby! comic con is a great mix of the geeks. the goths. the lonely. the smelly. the creepy. the slutty. and the common thread? the love of comics.

i like that my world is filled with good friends who love comics and can appreciate the need to find all the new avengers issues, a place where it is ok to play magic with D&D 20 sided dice, where babies can be dressed up as final fantasy characters, where you're only as good as the writer and artist who made you and even rewrites can make you better than ever, ie. green arrow.