Thursday, April 9, 2009

out of sight out of mind

like most pixies and elves, i tend to go into hiding. sometimes by choice and sometimes not by choice. i have a close inner circle of peeps who i heart. my peeps are people who i don't always chat with on a daily basis, but everything always flows when we do chat or meet up. these are solid cats. i do have friends who i feel if they don't see me that i am out of their lives until i make a reappearance. i have some friends who i always reach out to and no response. am i an idiot to keep trying to keep in touch with people? sometimes i wonder if i am trying to keep in touch because the history of our friendship and what we had was so wonderful that i feel it has to be preserved. other times, i feel like it is the right thing to do, why burn bridges? but sometimes bridges don't get burned, they just don't get used anymore.

we all have friends who need to talk to you everyday, see you everyday. with me, this just can't be done. i can't do that. just not who i am. we all need our personal space and i like to do my own thing. i remember telling people how i like to go to the matinees by myself or out to breakfast by myself. people think this is weird. like there is something wrong with me. i just like having moments to think. i always manage to get in touch with people, but it works both ways.

whenever i feel a bit guilty for not getting back to some friends as quickly as possible, i think of one of my past best friends, kc. she and i would go on adventures together and hijinx. we would totally crack each other up. anyhow, one day, she packed her bags and told us she was going to london for the summer for art school. we all believed her. then on the day she was flying back, we called her house and her mom told us she would be home soon. we were all excited with glee. her mom was perplexed. we explained we were excited to see kc come home since she was in london for 3 months. her mom replied, no. kc has been here all summer. wha?! anyhow, when i later asked her about it. she didn't say she lied, when she did, but explained, "i needed a vacation." and that was that. no one called her or bothered her for 3 months because she was in london or so we thought. brilliant! kc, much like duchamp did, got a vacation while still living at home. perhaps this is what i do when i lose touch or forget to blog, plurk or tweet. leave a message and i will get back to all when i come back from vacation. just know i always holla at you all back.