and to the victor goes the spoils

sometimes i have my emo moments, but really, i think i just do a lot of thinking. also, i am a crier. if i see someone cry, my slanty eyes start to well up with tears. sympathetic. empathetic. whatevs. i was chatting with other artists on twitter about comics and how i had documented my heartbreaks. it got me thinking about another idea. i put down my sock monster (yes, i think there is a monster that lives in my dryer and he eats my socks. of course, he eats only one of the pair, but his appetite is insatiable. he loves argyles. if you stop the dryer, you sometimes can catch his tail as he escapes into the lint worm hole of time). i begin to sketch out my story board.

my favorite subject to paint is people. i have series of portraits of friends, strangers, musicians, boxers, people i have seen, people i would like to see. so, it is no surprise that when i do comics, despite my penchant for monsters, i always continue to ink down human interaction, my memories of people, what ifs, what shouldn't have happen, my memories of crushing heartbreak, soaring victories, the mundane that makes me smile. this could explain my endless love for chris ware. mundane made beautiful.

my storyline, i don't wanna write it down since soon i will scan it once i finish it, but it focuses on what i think everyone deep down believes. when people break up, you don't really want the other person to be happy. you may think that because we should all feel that. but, really, you want to win. you want to be the one who whether the dumper or dumpee, you want to walk away being the better one, the winner.

harsh right? but is it? the truth hurts i know, but i just think, relationships fail or succeed. if they fail, someone points their finger to someone or something. i am sure there are some readers who think, no, i hurt him/her, i want them to be happy. ok, maybe you do, but we all have that run in with the ex and they are arm in arm with some supermodel or some dude who makes you feel like igor. it just is. at that moment, do you feel happy? no, you don't.

back to my storyboard. one can't expect people to pine. too victorian. one can't expect to always win, but we all have this in us. no one wants to be the one who loses. to lose a relationship is one thing. to be the loser as a result of the relationship is whole different matter.

so if i haven't ticked you all off, then just wait for my comic. maybe i can win some love back. i haven't gotten a title for it. that is the hard part for me. i leave that last.