Friday, May 9, 2008

ipods are the new roadblock, not roadblock from GI joe! :)

living in a city, one must comply to certain lifestyle necessities. for me, i believe that is owning some music device, ipod, mp3 player, Walkman, something that you can connect headphones and strut around this city listening to one's soundtrack as you dodge crazy cab drivers, angry septa bus drivers, bikers, and other pedestrians who believe they can stop in the middle of the sidewalk and just chat with people, not caring that they are taking up the whole sidewalk. obstacles. obstacles.

philly has a lot of homeless people. ok, not a lot. but, walking around you see them try to make eye contact with you, ask for money. for me, i used to give money to homeless, but realized they just bought drugs or cigs and weren't really using the money to buy a hoagie. i just send money to charities instead. wearing an ipod allows me to avoid people shoving fliers into my hands or bums asking me for money.

more importantly, wearing an ipod allows me to also avoid dudes trying to talk to me. this is great since if i want to talk to someone, i can take off my ipod earplugs, but it comes in handy. then i realized, girls wearing ipods just make it more difficult for guys to scam on a girl. it makes even more work for a guy to approach a gal. not only does the dude have to come up with some witty banter, but he has to tap the girl on the shoulder or get her to turn down the ipod or take off the earplugs. this seems to be like asking some guy to move mountains!

maybe this is why dudes just hand out business cards? business cards are the new classnotes. remember getting a note passed in class? business cards are essentially the same thing except without the wide ruled line paper and usually on heavier weight paper ( i like bone. in homage to american pyscho), embossed font (i like courier) and perhaps a watermark if the dude is fancy. these little cards are fancy class notes. contact info. email. sometimes even a photo of the dude.

i remember sitting with a girlfriend eating lunch outside. people hustling by. she took a phone call and i put on my ipod since she had signaled me that it was going to be a few moments. i didn't have my ipod on loud, but some guy in a sharp suit walks up to me and puts his card on the table. i am all confused. i look up and he states confidently, "my card. we should go out sometime." walks away. wow, i think. wow, not in a good way. i guess ipods are roadblocks. roadblocks to people starting up conversations.

unfortunately, i am addicted to my ipod, but i do love walking around philly and just listening to the city sounds, the cabs, the laughter of people walking, by, just the whole pulse of the city. i just wish while i was doing this, i wouldn't have some skeevy guy come up to me and tell me his yellow fever fetish. ew. by the time this line comes out of his mouth, it is too late for me to put on my ipod, so i resort to my favorite roadblock. i smile and i kind of squint my eyes as if i am confused and concentrating and i say, " no speaky....engrish."

it works like a charm.


Len N. Wallace said...

I agree with everything you just said. I don't get hit on by many skeevy guys, but then, I get hit on by my fair share of creepy cougars at the bars I frequent, so all's fair I guess.

People really do the business card thing? That just sounds sad and kinda weird.

Oh, and I TOTALLY have yellow fever fetish! *slides you my business card*

pearly said...

what is creepier? old guy hitting on young gal or old cougar hitting on young lad? will the universe answer this?! seriously, business cards are the new spam.

Len N. Wallace said...

I dunno... I think dudes are a little less forward in saying gross stuff because they don't want to gross out girls. Older, drunk women however, think that just because I have a filthy mouth and am desensitized to icky stuff, I'll totally be DTF when she tells me "I want to suck your dick off your body."

True story.

Robert Jaz said...

I just bought two 25th Anniversary GI Joe figures at Target. There were only two left and they happened to each be a Cobra Commander - the two different Cobra Commanders. Pretty much the only GI Joe's I wanted to buy at this point because I always liked the no face, cool uniform thang. I got to your blog via your page on Last.FM and then saw Roadblock. Strange coincidences are really funny. Take care!
- Robert