Wednesday, May 8, 2013

when goodbye gifts become gone gifts

it has been a long time since i have blogged and for that my dear readers, i apologize. i promise to blog more often as i do miss it.

anyhow, my best friend and her husband recently moved from philly to the land of blondes and spray tans, yes, you guessed it, LA.  even though in philly, they lived 15 minutes from me, i had the comfort of knowing that they were there. right in the city.  i could text or call my bff and she would come over to do crafts, draw and watch korean horror movies while munching on dried seaweed. now, yes, we could still do that, but one of us would need to jump on an aeroplane and after a 6 hour flight, the craft night horrorfest would be a go! totally not the same.

even with skype, IM, chats, texts, emails, instagram, etc. these are all poor substitutes for a bff. i know a lot of people in philly, but i only hang out with a few people, mostly because i hate crowds and i think i am a bit quirky that not everyone can relate to me. but my bff gets me. she understands that i would rather stay in on a friday night and sketch and doodle while watching a marathon of firefly than sitting at a bar where i can't hear anything but limp bizkit blaring. ew.

when my bff told me she was moving, i think i was in a bit of denial. LA sucks. LA has freeways. who bikes in LA?! why is everyone so tall in LA?! LA is not philly. i remember she told me she was moving at my birthday dinner. it didnt seem real. as the month of may got closer and closer, it sunk in that this was real. granted, i have had friends move and i have moved, but it never gets easier. my other bff (who is the twin sister of my bff moving. i know confusing right? just try to follow along) arranged to have a going away party. it was at the house of a girl who i didnt really know. anxiety hit for me. awkward to show up to a party at the home of someone you dont know. the night of the party, i showed up with my friends marshall and brendan. they were posse for the night. i bought mini cupcakes for the party. we showed up early. after a few hours, my bff and her hubby showed up. which was a relief to me since i had spent the night just eating grilled chicken and asparagus as i believe my chit chat was not cool enough for some.

i got to chat with my bff for a bit and as i left she assured me we would meet up before she was leaving, which was in 4 days. i didnt say gbye then since it wasnt time. instead, i gave big hugs and said let me know when we are brunching since i have a gift for you.

people who know me know that i do drawings. i do monster drawings. i do doodles. i worked on a ink and pencil drawing for my bff. i went and got a frame for it. i spent time thinking about it and what i should draw. it is an arduous process, but once i am done, i am proud to give the drawing away.

the days went by and nothing. when i did get a text to meet up, it was while i was working and across town. oh phooey. i stared at my drawing that i had done. i felt sad that i didnt get to say goodbye. i got cheated out of that. now as i look at my goodbye gift i feel foolish. goodbye gift? they already have moved away. i remember texting her that i needed her LA addy so i could mail the gift. my cute goodbye gift is now a "youre gone" gift. it doesnt sound as pleasant. well, neither sound pleasant, but good thing drawings dont expire. they keep real well. i just hope so does my friendship. i hope it doesnt expire. :(

send me hugs. i miss my bff.

xo, pearly


Christian George F. Acevedo said...


Just stumbled upon your blog, and I must say good byes are always a constant part of our lives. While we can't deny the fact that there'll come a time when the people who matters most to our lives have to live, we must at least reassure ourselves that for a certain period of our life, we have these people to help us define who we are.

pearly said...

thank you christian. i understand good byes are a part of life, but it doesn't make it easier. also, what does LA have that philly doesn't?! haha

mch said...

Lots of hugs Pearl. It ain't easy - my BFF and truly the most wonderful person in my life is in Japan. Saying goodbye - ouf, does it make us stronger? Sadder? Weaker? Only time will tell. Keep your chin up