Wednesday, April 21, 2010

elasticity of the soul

i work in a profession where it is about pushing, arguing, and more pushing. i work in a profession where it is about testing people's limits, pushing people to get the truth. you can imagine that all this pushing can be tiresome.

i think with all this pushing, i forget that sometimes pushing someone to their utmost limit means losing.

i don't like to lose. lawyers don't like to lose.

i never thought as myself as competitive:

friend: pearl, we're competitive. we all went to law school. we're competitive.
me: no, i'm not competitive.
friend: you are.
me: no, i am not. i am not competitive

i never felt i fit the lawyer persona. i mean, i am not a douchebag. but, it's my realization that i do push and mold situations to my advantage. is that a douchbag move?

i've always been the one that got pushed around in life, but these days, i have been doing some pushing of my own and i don't like that.

in life, i would rather be the pushee than the pusher so to speak.

the human spirit is amazing that we can bounce back. the elasticity element.

but, how long does that elasticity last? i mean, does it always snap back?

my sweet readers, your pearly has had a trying week and is busy doing damage control.



MaddogLong said...

douchebag?? You gotta be kidding me girl! Aren't you being alittle hard on yourself?

btw, I read all your posts from this one on. I found it refreshing reading your notes so to speak. It seemed, like alot of similarities btw us.(dont' know what that means) Anyways
I just ended up here at your blog while
I was surfing all over the place from links that came up during my Wordpress

Been dorking about with Wordpress and Dokuwiki software for my home server. Am thinking bout some kind of blog/wiki site??? So confused.. been out of the web loop for awhile. Went back to automotive for a few years.

Drop by and say hi sometime. - Maddog

pearly said...

thanks for your comment and taking time to read my little blog. it's just a ramble collection of my thoughts. glad you can relate to some of it. i think i am a bit hard on myself. a strength and a weakness i guess. everyone gets frustrated with their job, but i think with my profession, the arrogance and egos can be overwhelming.