Monday, February 8, 2010

work wife

the men in my office are extremely metrosexual and emo. i am not insulting them. that is just how they are. they travel in a pack and like to make sure their ties are perfect knots and their cufflinks are shiny.

i tell my friends that these days, women are looking for men to be wives. my girlfriends are all successful and independent. they don't need a man, they want a man. big difference. my girlfriends don't look for a man at work.

the men at my office crack jokes and like to call everyone a cute nickname. i am usually oblivious to this as i keep big headphones on.

the men at my office tell me that i don't go out to lunch with them, i am not being friendly. i correct them. i do go out to lunch with people, just not them.

i have never heard of the term "work wife." apparently, all the men here have a "work wife," somebody who they can complain to, grab lunch with, nag. it strikes me as odd. i declined being a work wife. i am already busy at work and i don't need to take care of more people.

i declined and this was met with surprise and horror. what?! how could i not want to be a work wife?! imagine the perks. there aren't any.

after we got hit by a snowstorm, i come into the office to be met with a herd of guys telling me: "hey work wifey, can you make some dumplings tonite and bring them in tomorrow for all of us? thanks!" to which i responded by handing them each a take out menu.

perhaps these men should just get a civil union together and leave me out of the mix.

also, when will the people here learn that i am not chinese, so dumplings really aren't my forte?

i don't know if any of my readers have/are a work wife, but it is a lame and retarded notion.

donna reed didn't put up with this crap and neither should i.


smoking_robot said...

you're coworkers all have various neurological/psycological disorders i think.

you've been updating like kuh-ray-zee , i gotta read all these older entries now.

big O said...

OMFG! you so made my monday morn!! love ur scintillating, crafty wordsmith pearlypearl!!