breaking up friendships

i tweeted a bit ago how i think it is wierd how we "break up" with friends. you can fall out of friendship with someone. i understand we all can through transitions and major event changes, but we all remain friends, and close friends with some people. i can count on one hand my steady crew. i have gone through events and changes and these 5 people all remain in my life and they are integral.

when you have snow days, you begin to think about stuff.

there are people i have known for ages who know me no better than my co workers and there are some people who i haven't know as long, speaking time wise, who get me. quality over quantity. simple math, i get it, i know.

i know that sometimes i am the one who breaks the friendship and other times it just is a mutual fade out or it is the other party who breaks it.

for example, i believe any of my friends who move from philly to nyc will no doubt be engulfed in the i need to be the coolest person in nyc so i need to diss philly attitude and we will lose touch. it is strange since nyc is only 2 hours away from philly, but might as well be guam.

i also think just because you have known someone for a long time, doesn't mean you are good friends. it also doesn't establish a friendship.

the best thing is not having or avoiding the break up and just having the friendship mutually fade out. sometimes distance, lack of common ground or you just realize hey this person is an idiot, all point to break up.

i think i am a good friend, but as of late, i have been breaking up with friends it seems. perhaps i am not as good a friend as i think i am.
if i ask my friends, they will tell you i rock. if you ask my ex friends, they may say that or say pearl who? or grunt disapproval. i feel like i haven't changed as a person. lots of things have happened to me, but i am still me. i don't go out looking for new friends, i'll just stick with the good ones i have.

holiday run ins

holidays bring back people. you go to parties. you go to dinners. all these events for me mean i will eventually run into people from my high school. i hated my high school. if mean were a student, he would have been at my school.

i purposefully did not go to a college where most of these mean people would go, ie. duke, villanova, pennstate, etc. yet, even in philly, i run into these people.

holidays means people are home visiting and encounters are inevitable.

fact: if i did not like you in high school, i probably won't like you now.

fact: if you bullied me in high school, i definitely don't like you and won't like you.

fact: if you told people we dated in high school, you are a liar since i wasn't allowed to date anyone until college. so stop telling people we dated. you know who you all are.

fact: just because you knew one of my good friends from high school does not make us good friends.

fact: i do not want to talk about what the old gang is up to because i didn't have a gang in high school. i hung out with 5 people and no, you were not part of that 5.

it is odd to me that people wanna talk about their glory days. their glory days involved being mean to people, bullying people. these are your glory days? what a sad life you have. why would i want to reconnect with these people?! these are the people i escaped from. granted, being in this school motivated me to study harder so i could escape earlier.

i know, i know. sometimes people change. but, i don't think that is always so. just because you recognize me and wanna give me a summary of everything that has happened in your life since graduation does not mean you have changed. it may mean you are stuck in high school mode.

i don't mean to sound harsh, dear readers. but, i cannot stand there with a smile and pretend that these people matter to me. they didn't then and they don't know. philly is a village and i understand it is inevitable that i run into former alums. fortunately, my real life is awesome and i don't need to talk about homecoming games and proms. real life is better than high school cliques, dances, and crushes. it just is. and that is my last fact.

xo

the trouble with my eyes

i don't get called four eyes, i get called worse things. last week, as i was walking in rittenhouse square (for you nonphilly folks, it is a big shopping district with tourists, townies, the like all wearing too much makeup and with lots of tiny yippy dogs) around lunchtime. i often take walks by myself at lunch to think. i had on my ipod and my winter urban eskimo gear on, ie. hat, scarf, mittens, etc. i was walking on the sidewalk and i wasn't nor do i take up a lot of room. walking my quick pace. being in a city, everyone is in a rush or seems to be. as i continue my thinking and my walking, an older gentleman is heading towards me and as we pass each other, he shoulders me. hard. strange, i thought since we were the only 2 on the sidewalk. as he shouldered me, he says to me, "nice eyes, GOOK!" i was shocked. my reaction? i turn around and say to the pushy man, "excuse me, can you clarify?" now, why did i ask him this? first, it was noisy out and i had my ipod on, perhaps i heard incorrectly? second, wasn't sure if he was complimenting me and the insulting me, (later i realized he didn't say, "you have beautiful eyes, gook" and yes, the use of the word gook does negate any positive comment intended). he turns and says it again clearly and i did not hear wrong.

people amaze me. here is a man, so proud in his racism that he repeats it to me. yes, i did ask him to clarify, but he must have been shocked that i spoke english. his thought bubble, "oh sh*t, she understands english!"

post halloween

halloween is one of my favorite holidays. it is right up there after chinese new year. granted, i love dressing up, but being of asian descent gives me a limited selection. in the past, i have been connie chung (sans the maury povich), short round, deadly miho, battle royale, bruce lee from game of death, a chinese delivery dude, asami from the movie audition, well, you get it. i go asian, or i go home. this year, i attempted to do lady vengeance, but without old boy and mister vengeance, who would know?! so i went a bit mainstream and was go go yaburi. i assumed this character is pretty recognizeable. i was wrong. but as you can see from the photos, i still loved being in character. for instance, walking to the first halloween party, of course, wrong directions and i end up walking onto a side street that has a dead end. i know, very wrong turn bad movie. i walked past a party where there was about 6 hipster dudes smoking outside. one guy was dressed as a banana. of course, i am certain if i had said, "nice banana costume" his reply would have been, "i am not a banana. god. i'm a plantain!!!!" yesh. so this is the group smoking outside on the stoop and as i walked by, the conversation stops. uncomfortable no? i walked by with my ball and chain in hand in my school girl outfit. then as i get to the end of the dead end and realized i had made a wrong turn, i now have to walk past these same guys again. so i did that. they stop talking and look at me and then i wait for it, the snide remarks. and then they start. i could have just screamed, "WHAT?!!!!" and swung my fake ball and chain and just screamed some high pitch note. instead, i just replied to them, "what costume?" and kept walking, fast!

halloween is great because we get to dress up and just be another character for the night. it reminds me of that buffy episode where the scooby gang dress up for halloween and become their characters, ie. the southern belle, the army dude, a ghost. i stop to think, hmmmm, me as gogo yaburi? stranger things have happened, folks.

actually, those pics of my girls and i, it makes me giggle to say costumes since we wear that stuff anyways.

also, fyi to the drunks who smashed my pumpkins, you all are lame.

things that make me swoon

i am afterall a strange little girl. i cry at almost everything. i giggle at inappropriate times. i don't just laugh, i snort. that being said, there are a few things that without fail make my little heart skip a beat. here's an inkling:

1) chubby asian babies, especially halfies! =)
2) ice cream dates
3) seeing little birds bathing in street puddles
4) holding hands
5) cranking the a/c high and piling two blankets on and watching horror movies all night
6) sitting and reading together in comfortable silence
7) hearing someone say "wicked awesome" and not being sarcastic or ironic about it
8) being called darling
9) when i get the last bite of dessert
10) when i don't get corrected for all my mixed up metaphors
11) being told i miss you even if it's only been a day apart
12) eskimo kisses
13) tom selleck mustaches
14) people who aren't afraid to dance, even if they dance badly
15) glasses
16) freckles
17) the smell of pipe tobacco
18) love letters
19) people who appreciate my swatch collection
20) anybody who can beat me in tekken, mortal kombat or gauntlet

of course, this list is always ever expanding...

Philly Comic Con, you broke my heart

Going to the Philly Comic Con every year is a treat for me. i look forward to it. i plan on what i want to buy, who i want to meet, what games i want to play, etc. it is an exhausting weekend, but one filled with my dreams of wizards, centaurs, elves, warlocks, klingons and link.

philly comic con is smaller than NYCC and SDCC, but to me, it is comfortable. people here do more cosplay and everyone is laid back and chill. there is no air of pretentiousness. just people who like to read comics, role play, video game, or the like coming together in a huge convention center with no ac on and browsing comics and trades and swords in the stench of body odor and hot dogs.

this year, my friend andy hooked me and my peeps up with VIP passes, so we got to bypass the line, which was INSANE! it went into freaking chinatown! all these lines and no organization! wth wizard world?! bypassing people with our wristbands, i felt like people in the line were gonna jump us!

this year, i decided to go as KNIVES CHAU from the scott pilgrim series. i figured with all the hype with the movie, there surely would be a ramona flowers there. NO. i did see a big girl with a blue wig. but she was not ramona, just blue and big. so here i am dressed as knives chau, based on the comic, i haven't seen any clips from the movie, so i didn't base my appearance on the movie version. i spent 2 hours cutting each letter of my shirt by hand and then hem gluing them to my shirt. this is a tedious and arduous process. i do not recommend, but all 4 art stores i went to did not have iron on letters. argh!

as you can see from the pic, i managed to pull off knives chau. i was pleased that a handful of people there recognized who I was and would shout, "knives!" a few people even managed to come up to me and talk about the Scott pilgrim series and upcoming movie.

Even so, it seems if one isn't dressed as a character from marvel or DC comics, no one had any clue. The world of comics expands beyond those two labels!

Upon entering comic con, I was shocked by the downsizing. I didn't see the usual cosplayers there, no fat spiderman with his fanny pack. If you are reading this fat spiderman, know that you were missed. There were a lot of blades/daywalkers. No shazam or aquaman. Ha. I guess we can live without aquaman. He's useless on land anyways!

There wasn't a gaming section for the ps3 or the usual halo tournament since E3 was about to go on. Shatner bailed. Thank goodness Picard was still a show, sporting a soccer shirt mind you. Such a handsome man! Bruce Campbell showed up for about an hour I heard. This con seemed more about selling products, for example, the kin, the fiesta car. I want to buy trades, magic cards, manga and art from new and old favorite artists.

Artist alley was filled with some artists looking like they hated being in Philly. Sigh. Most of the writers and artists that I adore were not in Philly and/or do not do Philly or were not invited. You KNOW WHO you all are!

I got bumped around a lot since the way tables were set up seemed not to induce a good or effective traffic flow.

I sound like a big complainer. But, I love comic cons. I do. The Philly comic con is my favorite ex boyfriend. The nice guy who I dumped but still think he is awesome. Now, philly comic con isn't the nice guy anymore. He is now lame. We have to go our separate ways.

I am leaving Philly comic con for nycc and then sdcc.

Maybe we can still get together for scones though. No quickies though. Strictly platonic.

things about me

awhile ago, i listed thing i do that make me an oddity. see post title "staring contest with my coffee." consider this post sort of a sequel.

things people don't know about me:

i have freckles on my nose, but you have to lean in to see them. i don't cover them up and like being a little asian girl with a scattering of freckles.

i have a scar on my neck. i tell people it was from a knife fight in chinatown, but that isn't the real reason...or is it?!

i forget that i have a tattoo. i got my tattoo at a biker bar in baltimore. they had dentist chairs set up and wyett earp was playing on the television as the needle went in me. also, when getting a tattoo on one's back, there is no need to remove one's pants. the tattoo guy tried to tell me differently. nice try. pants stay on! ridiculous.

i roll my eyes a lot in response to people. i do this even when i am on the phone, responding to emails, etc. i don't know why i do this since i don't do this in person.

raisins freak me out. they are little and wrinkly and just give me the creeps.

i still get nightmares from watching horror movies.

i'm known as the "nice" one among my circle of friends. although i don't think i am always that nice. perhaps my friends are just really mean?!

i still write fan mail to artists and writers that i adore. my first fan letter was to william shatner.

when i was little, i hated my nose and tried to pinch it everyday so it wouldn't look so "asian."

my ears are really small.

upon graduating law school, i had to take out all my piercings. anyways, nobody wants a lawyer in tats and piercings, right? haha. law school was fun. haha. i also sported red hair, purple and blonde. i have long accepted my black hair is fine just the way it is. :)

while in lawschool, was approached by 2 model scouts, who told me i would be better as a model than a lawyer. way to encourage huh?

i can't stand the taste of tequila.

i prefer white wine over red.

the way to get on my good side is through mini black and white cookies. truth.

when i go to a restaurant, i always look at the dessert section first. this determines if i want to stay for dinner. dessert is what i look forward to. it's like the prize at the end of the maze. no prize? no pearly at your restaurant.

i have never asked a guy out.

when i was little, i picked dandelions and was made fun of by people who told me it was a weed and not a flower. i like dandelions and think a handful of dandelions is still pretty.

the smell of pho makes me cringe. the traditional beef pho that is.

i'll see an action or horror flick over a romantic comedy any day.

i still use a bookmark when reading. my bookmark has a picture of an owl.

i carry bandaids with me because i am accident prone.

my family and i never took any family vacations/trips together when i was younger because we couldn't afford it. instead, my sister and i would create adventures in our living room and my parents would rent kung fus and we would watch them and act out fight scenes.

when i was in high school, i wrote a play.

when i was in high school, my monthly comic strip was banned by the parents association and the asian american club.

i tend to call people dude way too much.

i practice scowling.

my sister's nickname for me is ghostie.

i hate social climbers.

i eat indian food and korean food more than once a week.

i love to dance, but for the life cannot dance to hip hop or rap music, yet i am happy as a clam listening to wu tang in my office.

i can't make jello.

i still have the tapes of all the bands i used to play in.

secretly, i want hulk slippers.

i clip coupons.

my friends and i tend to wave hello/goodbye with both hands.

certain songs remind me of certain people, situations and moods.

certain cities remind me of certain people, situations, and moods.

i am surprised when people comment on my blog/thoughts.

my girls and i wrote and recorded a rap song.

i made "i heart pearl" shirts in boston and gave them to my friends and boys.

i always wear perfume.

when i am with my friends, i feel like we are invincible and can conquer this dirty city we call home.

i have never been mad at any of my best friends.

i am really into fonts.

i'm left handed.

i think tomato and toast and gus and sailor are cute nicknames for people.

i know the entire rap song X gonna give it to ya by DMX.